Episode 181 Challenge #7 – Pick ONE Thing for You.

Episode 181 Challenge #7

Pick ONE Thing for You

Elenor Brown said, “Self care is any action you purposefully take to improve your physical, emotional or spiritual well being.”

Today’s episode is part of a series that explores the challenges in the book: LIFE – Living Intentional and Fearless Every day – the 21 LIFE Connection Challenges. THIS is a PERMISSION episode.

Today we are on challenge #7 – to pick one thing you’ve been wanting to do or buy for yourself and just do it. I don’t know about you, but I often put off splurging on something I really want because I can’t justify the expense in my own head. 

Tune in for today’s quickie episode about how and why this challenge is a beautiful one to embrace. And after you listen, I hope you’ll take the challenge. Because YOU matter. 


I was talking with a friend the other day about the nature of the 21 challenges and she begged me to add it into the explanation. So, here it is –  I have a tendency in life to pick and choose what I want to do. I suspect we all probably do. We have to make all kinds of choices everyday where to spend our time. But when I was doing my emotional intelligence training we quickly learned that we did not have that option. It made everyone severely uncomfortable, but we came to understand that if it was part of the program we HAD to do it or leave the program. Boy did we all push through some blocks and every time we learned from it. We found gems of insight and growth that getting OUT of one’s comfort zone brings.

Well, that to is the nature of the 21 challenges. If you start the challenges and then just pick the ones that feel comfortable to you, you don’t stretch, you don’t learn, you don’t get out of the program what it holds for you.

So, just a reminder – when you start the 21 challenges – commit, in your own head and heart, to push past your resistance and do EVERY challenge. 

This series of episodes where I go over the challenges in detail with everyone who is listening, allows you to follow along in doing the challenges, but even better, to understand why the challenges are in the program in the first place.

This set of explanatory episodes started in episode 12 and then again in 89  were we who were doing Random Acts of Kindness together, talked about the experiences. These were episodes exploring Challenge # 1 -Do a Random Act of Kindness.

In episode 163 I spoke with Ashley Stuart, a de-clutter expert, and we talked about why challenge #2 – to get rid of one thing you no longer need – is so much more important than this simple act seems on the surface.

In episode 169 I tackled an in-depth on challenge #3  – this is where we looked at what it really means and looks like to find the lesson in something that doesn’t go your way. Great stuff with expert Leslie Householder on finding the gratitude and lesson in our trials or disappointments.

In episode 171 we got into detail about why Challenge #4 – a life hack I call “Success-file” is so important to living happy.

Challenge #5  was episode 174 where we got real about giving people the benefit of the doubt and why it’s a relationship saver.

And Challenge #6 – the Love Bomb in episode 176. 

PLEASE catch up on those episodes if you missed them and take each challenge for yourself. They are included for very important reasons – as you’ll hear as you listen to those episodes. 

But today let’s talk about challenge #7. This is the first challenge in the book that directly addresses self-care. The other challenges are about looking outward and doing for others and cleaning up the spaces we surround ourselves with – these all bless us with connection and clarity and less direct self care, – but THIS challenge is just plain and simply about treating you.

Let me finish Eleanor Brown’s quote – that I started in the beginning.

“Self-care is any action you purposefully take to improve your physical, emotional or spiritual well being. Too often, we do not make time for sufficient self-care because we’re too busy taking care of others. Life’s demands at home – even more so now during COVID, in our community and at work can take our lives out of balance. Self care can be getting more rest, eating healthier food, spending more time in thoughtful reflection, being kinder to yourself, smiling more, playing or engaging in any activity that renews you. By making time for self-care you prepare yourself to be your best so you can share your gifts with the world. Rest and self-care create a foundation and example of self love that inspires others and allows you to give your best. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. Self-care isn’t selfish. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.”

As I’ve mentioned, this challenge is to pick one thing you’ve really been wanting to enjoy, have, or do, and just do it. I’m giving you permission. Even urging you to do so.

What does this look like for you? Is it to get a massage? Take a nap? Buy a dress? Splurge on a membership to the gym or country club? Treat yourself to a pedicure or a movie. Maybe you order out instead of making dinner and then hit a bubble bath. What about a hike to realign your spirit in a natural space?  Or maybe it’s 20 minutes for meditating. What have you been wanting or needing? This is personal…

Let’s talk about why for a moment. Deepak Chopra, a spiritual and physical physician and head of the Chopra Center, shared in his 21-Day Abundance mediation series, the answer in very simple terms….

“When you believe you are valuable you surround yourself with luxury, comfort and pleasures beyond those needed for everyday living. Luxury is not materialism. It doesn’t have to be an expensive car or opulent home. It can simply be the sweet fragrance of flowers picked from a garden, a drop of scented oil dropped in a warm bath, a piece of rich chocolate, or the sound of beautiful music. These are live’s small luxuries that cost very little but mean so much. Do you feel worthy of such luxury? Luxury is our natural state and abundance our birthright…by elevating your view of yourself you elevate the quality of your life. Your outer world will echo your thoughts beliefs and intentions that you are a treasured being. Take some time today to do something for yourself that you consider luxurious… make this a habit, the more you bring small luxuries into your life the more you will recognize yourself as a worthy spiritual being, deserving of love and abundance.”

I love the wisdom of Deepak Chopra and I’ve always been a fan of surrounding myself with lots of things that feel luxurious – little things as he mentioned, that I love, fresh flowers, yummy candles, massage, pedicures, chai tea, sushi…thinks that make me happy in small doses. 

Sometimes we get too busy to focus on us. Sometimes we put off something we’d love for others. Sometimes, it just gets lost because it’s not our habit to set aside time or a little money or special attention for a joyful moment. Challenge 7 is the reminder. When you are doing the challenges you don’t get to pick and choose, you just do them. That’s part of the growth cycle. And this one is laced with fun.

Feedback I’ve received from those doing the challenge has been riddled with excitement on this particular challenge. A sigh of relieve in some cases. A push to do that thing for yourself that is waiting to give you a break, a joyful moment, a pat on the back. 

One man explained to me how on Challenge 7 day, when others tried loading him with things to do, he simply told them, “No, today is my day. And he went and got a haircut and bought himself a few favorite treats and enjoyed some alone time.  Another woman signed herself up for a workshop she had been wanting to attend. She was totally giddy about the investment in herself. Another gal booked a day at the spa. What would your fun self-care wish be?

I got on FaceBook last month and asked people what kind of things they did for self care. Here’s a short list: facials, hike, surf, mountain bike, ski, read, outside projects in the yard, shower, brownies and coke, cuddles, Zumba, hot yoga, mediation, gardening, play the piano, workout, do puzzles, take walks and look at the sunset. 

Do those spark any ideas for you?

What do YOU do for self care? And, if you can’t quickly answer with a few go-to things, this challenge is even more important for you.

I’d like to share a TedX talk with you called “Self Care – what it really is.”  Susanna Joy Winters suggests 3 restorative activities that focus on self care in a way that is simple, natural, and all about emotional and mental self care. See what you think of her ideas – she’s got some fabulous points about how self care – slowing down and sitting in stillness as a way of self-care, also helps us control the stories in our heads.

Tune into the audio program to hear this section of the show.

Whether your self-care is treating yourself to something you’ve been meaning to buy – showing yourself you’re worth spending the dough on. Or it centers on emotional and mental self care through stillness and moments with nature – a little “earthing”. Or your best self-care may be moving and feeling your body – getting the endorphins to get you a dose of happy and get the blood pumping, it’s definitely worth doing over and over. You start with one stretch – this challenge, the self splurge,  but once you see how good it feels, I hope you’ll schedule in some self love on a regular basis.

Thanks for being here today for this quick talk about loving on ourselves. Your challenge this week is to take Challenge #7 and do something just for you. You have permission – I insist.

Get your own copy of the 21 Life Connection Challenges on Amazon  (search the word LIFE and Lori Lee) or you can find the link on loveyourstorypodcast.com. Give it as a gift to the people you love and do the challenges together. It’s a way to build good energy and connection in this time of social and political distancing and upheaval. Take action to make your story just what you want it to be.

See you in two weeks for the next episode 

About the author, Lori

Lori is the host and producer of the Love Your Story podcast, a podcast dedicated to sharing candid interviews and conversations about living our best life stories on purpose. Lori pulls no punches in capturing interviews that shine a light on how we make it through the hard stuff – stress, anxiety, suicide, eating disorders, rape, the death of children, abuse, divorce and the real stuff we have to deal with. But, she also shares interviews with Olympians and incredible athletes, life coaches, therapists, and people who are changing the world – most often these two categories are one and the same. She has a master’s degree in Folklore--her research focuses on the personal narrative. She is the author of six books and over 100 magazine and newspaper articles, including her latest, L.I.F.E. – Living Intentional and Fearless Every Day. She consults with individuals on a personal and business level in helping them find their stories, reframe the ones that are holding them back, and manage the stories they currently tell themselves in order to create the story they personally want to live.

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