Episode 192: Challenge 11: Say YES to something you would usually say no to.
We create. Everyday we create connection, chaos, possibility, drama, conversation, expectations, money, homes, relationships, works of art, friction, love, stories, or we don’t…
Our power lies in our ability to direct our life story with every choice and every thought.
Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast and the 21 Life Connection Challenges – 21 life hacks that have been set up to help you connect, take care of your fabulous self, create possibility in your one-and-only life, and get out of the dol drums or anxiety that follows too close on your heels.
This series of podcasts highlights the challenges one-by-one, gives you background on why the challenge was included in the 21 chosen challenges, a deeper understanding of the concept itself, and ideas on how to implement it. These simple challenges create big ah-ha’s and leave you with some great new tools to play with.
Today we focus on Challenge #11 – To say YES to something you would usually say NO to. Stay tuned for stretching into YES! This IS a good one.
Let me just start off by stating the obvious. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Keep saying no to the things you habitually say no to, and nothing new is going to move into your life.
In 2016 my friend and colleague Sally walked into my office. “You’ve GOT to go to this emotional intelligence training I just finished,” she proclaimed. I laughed at her, because in fact she’d just indicated I needed emotional intelligence training. I retorted “I HAVE to, do I?”
“Yes,” she said unapologetically, “You really have to work through your issues with men.”
Blunt as she was I was also aware of this fact and so I asked her to tell me more. As she spoke I decided I would look into it. I would say “Yes.” It involved buying airline tickets to fly across the country, the fees to sign up for the conference, paying for a motel/air bnb and Uber…and I was a single mom trying to support my family, but I said yes because in my gut I knew I was stuck, and while I would usually say no to the extra expenditure, I decided to say YES.
This saying Yes changed everything for me. After a year of training, repeated trips across the country, a transition into coaching, I found my way through the walls that I’d been stuck behind. I found my next step forward, a path that brings me to you today on the airwaves of podcast love. Saying ‘Yes’ changed everything for me.
When Gandolf invited Bilbo on an adventure, how did saying YES change his life, his understanding, his experience…. Can you even imagine the adventure lost, the change of the story if the protagonist says ‘no’ and sits in the shire? The story dissolves, and certainly his part in saving middle earth is no longer.
If you love a mystery, remember, you never know where saying YES is going to take you. Me seldom realize the moments that will change our lives. You don’t know when that YES will start of chain of events that saves the world. You don’t know….that’s the adventure of it all.
Why do this challenge:
Remember the movie “Yes Man?” In it Jim Carrey takes an oath to say yes to everything that comes up, to everything anyone asks him to do. The movie is the tale of how his life drastically changes and all the adventures that happen because he is willing to say yes to new things – giving a homeless man money, taking flying lessons, going on a date, throwing a bridal shower…by saying yes to all these things he creates a life that is 180 degrees different from the one he lived before and it opened up finding love, connecting with people, seeing and doing things he’d never done.
That’s the idea here, but rather than saying yes to everything, all you have to do is choose one thing today to say yes to – but it has to be something you would usually have said no to. Then, you can keep saying yes if you want, but let’s start with one thing.
This challenge is about creating possibility in your life.
In one group who was participating in the challenges a woman shared that she approached the whole day with the question – “Can I say Yes to that?” On that day her children got a special treat because things she had habitually been saying no to, she realized she didn’t need to say no to. Fun and insight into her own habits was her take-away. You can imagine how her kids loved it.
I had a gentleman who was taking the challenge tell me, I always say yes to everything and everyone, so I adapted the challenge to be brave and say no when someone asked me to do something I didn’t want to do. Style points. You know if this approach is the one you should take.
One woman said yes to getting highlights in her hair. One said yes to buying a life coaching program she had been putting off. Another agreed to play games with her parents despite the fact she was not a game player. She bonded with her parents for a couple hours and found the connection was worth the effort.
Does your significant other want to try something he/she thinks would be fun, but you’ve said no? Today is the day to try something new. YES!
Did you know that novelty is one of the things humans need most. We will go looking for it when things get too predictable. Novelty feeds our souls. New things creates possibility for us. Lest you. Stumble past what that means…possibility means something new, something magic, something wonderful has the chance to thrill you. But that magic requires you get out of your comfort zone.
In the Ted Talk 2020 by Tracy Edwards, the first woman to win the Yachtsman of the Year trophy, she shares how saying Yes created her best possible life.
Listen to the audio to hear this clip.
She said Yes to backpacking in Greece. Yes to working on boats. Yes to learning to navigate. And, one yes at a time she stopped being a bystander in her own life.
Now, know that this challenge isn’t to add more to your plate of things to do, nor is it to complicate your life, we all know the importance of boundaries, but it is about saying yes to something that you would usually dismiss so you can stretch into a new experience, a greater possibility of freshness, fun and novelty. Push past the resistance and do that uncomfortable thing.
I’ll leave you to your “Yes” day with this final quote by Martha Beck, International Life Coach, “Even if it’s nothing but an alluring tickle, push the objections aside and move into the feeling of “Yes!” Believe it or not, this sensation — not pain, not self-sacrifice, not stoic numbness — is the surest indicator that you’re on the path that will lead you to the best possible effect you can have on the world.”
Live big, live intentional and you know what your challenge is this week. Say “Yes” to something you would usually say no to.
See you in two weeks for the next LYS Podcast.